Monthly Archives: November 2012

How to do Anal

I tend to not do sexual blogs, but what the hell… I’ll go ahead and throw one out there.

Lets talk about anal sex. Yep… I said it. Anal. So lets just dive right into it, shall we?

I love anal, I always have. But there’s no way I’d just make some random blog about that; instead, this is going to be an instructional blog for all you ladies and fellows out there that either haven’t done anal, or are very inexperienced with it. I’ve done it quite a bit, so I do think I can offer if nothing else, a little bit of advice in relation to the whole thing. So, lets talk about that big elephant in the room first!

First of all, why do people not like anal? Well, there’s a huge social stigma and most people do think it’s going to hurt, most girls won’t do it because one of those two reasons or a third reason, that being that they did do it and it was done wrong, and obviously hurt. Yes, the social stigma is that it is nasty, it is unladylike, it is dangerous, and it hurts. But if we’ve learned anything in life, we should almost be ready to declare the obvious, that most things that the majority of people agree on are actually wrong. I’d make a huge bet on it. People really do play the blind sheep in this fairytale, they get herded around, told what to do, and they like it. They like being told what to do, and to know what to do. They are even comfortable when things don’t go like they’d like them to, as long as there was a plan. Now, some of you may recognize that, it’s something Joker said on Batman (lol), but it is very true, and I’ve held the same notion for some time now. It’s absolutely right though. The thing people are really worried about is the big bad wolf, and they should be. Though, I have to say I’d be more afraid of the cougar. Metaphors galore!

So, lets get right down to business huh? Enough banter. The biggest, and I repeat, BIGGEST problem to do with anal is: A lot of people just think you go straight gung-ho into it, but if you do that you’re gonna seriously hurt someone, and most people I’ve talked to actually correspond with this belief. You don’t just “accidentally” lube it up and dive right in. Before you ever even start, you have to talk her into wanting it, at least wanting to try it. Not all girls are adventurous. The most important thing of course, is the girl, not the guy. The guy really is taking no risk, whereas the girl is taking some pretty big risks. Beyond injury, there’s also the social cloud around it, the guy would be praised, the girl looked down on. So both of those are important to remember. She’s exhibiting a lot of trust.

Okay, so… This is how you go about it:

Several different size toys and/or plugs help (small, medium, large, the dick being the largest of course — to recap, that’s 3 toys, 1 dick)… That and lots of lubrication for sure.

While we’re on the topic of lubricants, let me go ahead and hit this nail right on the head. Here’s a big sidenote about lubricants, cause I know this can be pretty confusing to a lot of people. I’ll just straight up say this: Regardless of what one you use, it’ll probably feel like you have to… y’know… afterwords. It’s not pleasant, really. It’s cause there’s still some lubricant lining your rectum which makes the body feel like it needs to. So, you’ll wanna clean up afterwords (yeah, I mean up in there). A warm bath will help too, if you feel like it’s needed. It’ll help relax your anus anyways, and tighten that back up sooner after it’s been stretched out by a big cock. Right, so… the choices:

Silicone-based lubricants: This one’s my personal favorite. I use one called Wet Platinum. They’re nice and slick, and they aren’t absorbed by the skin so they last a really long time, they don’t get sticky, and they stay slick under water. You can use it with latex products (e.g. condoms – though I don’t like condoms personally). Be careful with silicone based products like many sex toys though, silicone based lubes tend to not be very safe with them as they can dissolve them. You use warm water to clean it up, maybe some gentle soap (like tend to come in enemas). Room temperature or cool water won’t clean it off. You could also try Astroglide. There are a lot of various brands to check out. A friend of mine likes using a silicone-based lube along with a water-based lube – there are even some that come per-combined.

Oil-based lubricants: I’d say this is probably one of the best choices after Silicone-based lubes. They’re very cheap, widely available, and are very effective. They last a long time without reapplication, they’re thick, don’t get sticky, no funky smell, work with silicone toys, and all around just good stuff. Only couple downsides is that you can’t use condoms because it doesn’t play nice with latex, it’s not as slick as the silicone-based ones, and it’s not water soluble and generally difficult to clean off afterwords, but I still suggest them anyways. Vaseline or other petroleum jelly based ones are good stuff.

Water-based lubricants: These are water soluble, don’t last long, get sticky, messy, and need reapplied often. They are also very thin, and smell funny. I do not recommend them. Though, they do clean up easier than the others. Still, since constant self lubrication like happens in a pussy isn’t happening in the anus the lube won’t reapply itself, and it’s a big pain in the ass. Literally.

Anal-lubricants: There are some lubricants specifically branded for anal, and they tend to be thicker. Some are okay, some aren’t. What you need to watch out for if you’re trying them is avoid any that have any kind of anesthetic like benzocaine because not only is it numbing and reducing sensation but it’ll also increase chances of accidental injury since you need to know if it hurts so you can stop and change positions or do something different until it’s good.

The most important thing though, is that she actually wants it and is relaxed. If she doesn’t want it, it doesn’t matter what you do, she isn’t going to enjoy it. She’ll be all tense, and it’ll hurt. After all, for most of us… sex is all about how our partner makes us feel, and that has nothing to do with how many orgasms we have or how big their dick is… it’s more of an emotional thing.

Guys are way more obsessive about dick size than we are anyways, believe me. Guys are always wanting to brag “I’m 10 inches,” “I’m 9.5 inches,” “I’m 8 inches,” et cetera, but if you want to know a little secret guys… Most of us really don’t care, and those of us that do care, it might not even have anything to do with how it feels. Long dicks look better! Do you like big boobs or big butts? Well, there ya go. Same story. But to be quite honest, as far as sex is concerned, and just about any warm blooded woman on earth will agree with me: It isn’t about length, it’s about width. It really is. A skinny cock isn’t going to do anything, a nice round one is going to do all sorts of stuff, doesn’t matter if it’s 6 inches or 10 inches, it will work. Personally, I can only even get 7-8 inches in my pussy, and honestly length doesn’t matter for it. You can control how much goes in if you’re super long, you can’t control how thick you are, and yes… Too thick does hurt. I’ll tell you a little secret though… Anal, it doesn’t have a length limit. Like for example, an ex of mine, he had a 11 inch dick, I kid you not, and he could get all 11 inside, not just almost all, I mean all of it. Now, that’s an different subject right there entirely, and I could probably write an entire blog about the differences between shallow anal, normal anal, and deep anal. Obviously you can guess those would be how much dick is in you (or being if you’re a guy, and straight, then that would be in her.). Personally, I prefer deep anal, it’s fun times. But enough of that! This damn blog is lewd enough already as it is… lol

So, lets go back to the stereotypes and stigmas. Cause I know most the guys out there are dying to know, “how do I get her to do anal?!” The majority of people probably are never going to find a girl that would do it for a one night stand kinda situation… If you get a girl that loves you and trusts you, then things will work out. It’s all about communication and trust. If she tells you it hurts, it does lol… Doesn’t mean keep going either, means stop and figure out what the hell’s going on! Most pain from my experience generally comes from it going too deep, or in too fast before I was ready — and it’s generally a combination of the two, and when that happens… it isn’t just some immediate pain, it hurts for days. Well, that and bad positions. A lot of the positions you do normally just aren’t comfortable for anal. Remember that last one, it’ll be important.

Okay so, recap on all that… She has to actually be in an adventurous mood, where she is actually willing to try it, that’s of course to say that she also needs to pretty much be super horny… The talking and convincing comes beforehand, she should know what’s going to happen, and be okay with trying it. Don’t try to stick it in when she doesn’t want it, and doesn’t know it’s going to happen. I know myself, I’d personally be offended if I thought I was going to get a nice big juicy cock in my pussy then something long slid right up my ass (not to mention I’d probably be in a lot of pain, since I wasn’t ready for it!). Oh and as for toys… vibrators do happen to feel really good in there. Just sayin’.

But okay… it’s important that she still feels that she still has control, at least the first couple of times, soo… I would suggest a cowgirl position first, that way she can control everything going on, and she does… need to be in control. It’s more important that she learn that she can actually enjoy it rather than the guy getting off. Oh he’s going to get off, there’s no doubt about that. So really, there should be no problem. Of course, that’s just saying for the first couple times, so she can actually get accustomed to the feel, and you know, maybe not even for the full experience of it, maybe for the first portion, then move on to something else if both are comfortable.

The important thing for not feeling pain is that the girl has had time to get it slowly stretched to the proper size before the dick ever goes in… It doesn’t take a long time, maybe 5 to 10 minutes after the first few times – you can go half an hour to an hour or even 2 hours if you just really wanna be sure it’s gonna be a nice comfortable experience. A lot less to none after you’ve done a lot of it. So, the first couple of times… slow and gentle, with her in control. If it hurts her, she should try to figure out why it hurts, and maybe see about moving around a bit, maybe it’s the position, or maybe just staying with something that doesn’t hurt for awhile will allow her to do what was hurting earlier without it hurting.

Of course, that’s not to say you have to have gentle lovey dovey kinda sex all the time with it… In general, rough is much better. Just gotta be prepared for it, then the rest is all just fun. Do it right, and there won’t be any pain, and she can actually have better orgasms. 🙂 That’s generally why those of us that do like it, like it. The orgasms can be much, much better. I’m sure that changes from girl to girl though. But that’s why I like it, when I do orgasm from anal, it’s at least twice if not three times as powerful as a vaginal orgasm! True story.

Oh and a real big ending note here — cause, this one might be important… If the girl doesn’t have a “regular” digestive cycle, or whatever it’s called, and a lot of people don’t… Then she’s either going to have to change her diet and get one, or do a enema beforehand. Now, not many people like enemas… Personally, I’m one of them that doesn’t like it. So, not many people are going to want to do that just for anal. But generally, if you don’t do that, and you aren’t regularly having that… cleaned, and I don’t mean good hygiene, but of course good hygiene is always important, then I strongly suggest using a condom. Because if she isn’t regular and doesn’t do an enema, then chances are there is going to be some dirty dirty inside there, and feces are going to get on the insertive partner, possibly on the receiving partner, and well… It’s all around just better to get healthy, or do an enema, cause to be quite honest, that stuff is really gross and can completely ruin the mood. There is no “my shit doesn’t stink” — it stinks and chances are, the guy may even lose his erection. Some people may even vomit. And well, if there was a lot, and especially if the girl was inebriated (like under the influence), then chances are there may be a huge mess as well, and that… is just… bad. So, those two options… Pretty important. Some people don’t really have problems with it, I don’t, but I know that some do, so it’s a pretty big one to be aware of. If it’s your first time trying it… just do an enema a few hours before anyways just to be sure.

Oh and a little finisher… Don’t pull out too fast — we don’t like that. I know, everyone wants to be a pornstar and give the girl a big load right in the face at a moment’s notice, but… Just don’t. And a good piece of advice for any guys having any kind of sex, anal, or vaginal… Don’t pull out until she has an orgasm. If you do, she’s not going to be happy. That’s like you jacking off then just stopping before you cum, and just going on about your day. It’s not just frustrating, it’s a huge let down. Don’t do it! Make her cum her brains out before you stop! Besides, if you’re doing anal… If you can stay hard after you cum, it’s okay to cum in her ass. Some girls really like it. The only bad thing, once again, is a lot like Vaseline. There’s a nasty feeling inside afterwords. But, it does go away fast, and it’s definitely safe to do. Obviously just make sure it’s actually your wife, or a girl you’re in a long term relationship with, cause you obviously don’t want any STD’s and neither does she. Not that you wouldn’t already have it at that point, but y’know… Guys and girls both hate condoms. They aren’t “natural,” well neither is carrying a living person inside you for almost a year, lol! But there you go, anal, best birth control on the planet. You can orgasm, it’s with another person, you can actually have a better orgasm, there’s no risk of pregnancy, even cumming inside will never have bad consequences, it’s tighter for the guy, and feels better for the girl (once she’s use to it, of course). Much better than masturbation or abstinence.

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