Monthly Archives: July 2013

How to cut onions without crying

If you’ve ever cut onions and started crying and your nose started running and it was an all around unpleasant experience: join the club. I think it’s happened to all of us at one point or another, but cry and sniffle no more! I’m about to teach you how to defeat your evil onion overlords.

First things first, you’re about to look real goofy, so preferably do this while you’re home alone and let it be our little secret. What you’re going to need depends on what kind of onion you’re cutting, and I know what I’m about to say sounds ridiculous but stay with me…

If you’re cutting one of the weaker onions such as a red onion you’ll want to use swimming goggles:
swimming goggles

That’s right, swimming goggles. You can’t cry if the fumes can’t reach your eyes, right? And hey, these suckers are water-proof. They work.

But unfortunately if you’re cutting a bit stronger one such as say a white onion you don’t just have to worry about your eyes watering but your nose running as well. Swimming goggles are enough for red onions, the fumes won’t make your nose run. But for white onions you’re going to want scuba goggles:
scuba goggles

And yes, you will look utterly ridiculous. But… Your eyes won’t water and your nose won’t run. So look a little silly or suffer the wrath of an angry onion? It’s your call, but I go with looking a little silly.

…just so long as nobody else is around. And if they are..? Well, I don’t know what to tell you! Maybe change into your bikini first (or swim trunks if you’re a guy otherwise someone’s going to think you have way bigger problems than onions LOL) and say you were thinking of going swimming… it may be a little less silly if you also happen to own a pool and it isn’t winter, otherwise… well, let’s hope you’re one world class bullshitter! 😛

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