Why Big Butts Are Good

Intelligence.

There is a moderate correlation between maternal WHR and cognitive measures of their offspring. Using data from the U.S. National Center for Health Statistics, William Lassek at the University of Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania and Steven Gaulin of the University of California, Santa Barbara, found a child’s performance in cognitive tests was linked to their mother’s waist-hip ratio, a proxy for how much fat she stores on her hips.

Children whose mothers had wide hips and a low waist-hip ratio scored highest, leading Lassek and Gaulin to suggest that fetuses benefit from hip fat, which contains long chain polyunsaturated fatty acids, critical for the development of the fetus’s brain. In addition, evidence suggests that children of low-WHR teens were protected from the cognitive deficits often associated with teen birth.

It appears that men are more influenced by female waist-size than hip-size:

“Hip size indicates pelvic size and the amount of additional fat storage that can be used as a source of energy. Waist size conveys information such as current reproductive status or health status … in westernized societies with no risk of seasonal lack of food, the waist, conveying information about fecundity and health status, will be more important than hip size for assessing a female’s attractiveness.”

Journal of Biological Psychology
(1) Lassek, W.; Gaulin S. (January 2008). “Waist-hip ratio and cognitive ability: is gluteofemoral fat a privileged store of neurodevelopmental resources?”. Evolution and Human Behavior 29 (1): 26・4.
(2) Rozmus-Wrzesinska M, Pawlowski B (March 2005). “Men’s ratings of female attractiveness are influenced more by changes in female waist size compared with changes in hip size”. Biol Psychol 68 (3): 299・08.

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All the more reason to go for the big booty bitches! hahaha

What to tell your child about Santa?

Well, I was thinking about this in the shower awhile back, and… Having an intelligent child, of course my child will question the existence of Santa, especially when their friends start to tell them he’s fake. So, what will I do? First, I’ll apply to their logical minds, and then I’ll spin them a colorful believable tale (in the mind of a child, of course).

Child: Mommy, does Santa really exist? One of my friends told me he wasn’t real.

Come here, let me tell you a little secret.
Tell me, what have you been told about Santa?

(they tell you)

I see. Everything you have been told up until this point has been a lie. But I’m going to tell you the truth.
You’ll have to keep quiet about this, because not a lot of people know and if the wrong people find out… there’s no telling what will happen.

You see, Santa doesn’t actually visit every child in the world’s house to deliver presents on Christmas Eve. No, that would be logistically impossible, even if he did have some sort of magic to instantly teleport to each house. Once you factor in even at least 30 seconds to go down the chimney, reach into his bag and put out all of the presents, you have to think…

There are nearly 2 billion children in the world. So this means Santa would have to spend 30 seconds at 2 billion houses. That is 4 billion minutes in a single night. Do you know how long that is?

66,666,666 hours, which is 2,777,777 days, or 7,610 years. Even if Santa only spent 15 seconds, or even only 5 seconds, it would still be thousands of years every single year, which makes it impossible.

Santa would have to freeze time, but there’s no way Santa would spend thousands of years every single year just to deliver presents to little children. Nobody is that nice, and as we know… time travel isn’t really possible. That’s just made up.

No. The truth is… Santa does really exist, but what everyone has told you has been a lie. You’ve just been told stories to deceive small children, but you’re smart. Don’t be deceived any longer.

You see, Santa does really live up at the North Pole, but he doesn’t visit houses on Christmas Eve. In truth, Santa has a massive mind controlling device that uses the earth’s magnetic field on both poles to control a massive mind controlling device that he uses each year to control every child’s parents every year to go out and buy them gifts.

Yes. I, too, have been victim of this. Even the Santa at the mall, all of them are just ordinary people that have been mind controlled by Santa Claus to go to the mall and gather the lists of presents that children want. Sometimes he will even control little people, or others, to pretend to be elves.

You see, the reason he does this is because Santa can’t read nor control the minds of children. So he must control these fake Santas to gather what their presents will be. He will also use the parents. In fact, it’s more convenient to use the child’s parents, as they will be the ones controlled to gather the gifts.

And you see, Santa himself does not have infinite resources nor a horde of elves slaving away for him. No, he has each parent use their own money to buy their children gifts. It’s ingenius, really.

The whole thing’s a big cover up so while kids are actually still young enough to do anything about it, they don’t even know about it. And most kids that do find out about it, well, they actually like the presents… so they don’t do anything.

Rewatched Watchmen

So, I was watching Watchmen… rewatching, I should say. I saw it way back when it came out. But I was watching it again, and I guess I didn’t really notice something the first time that really bothered me this time around…

Ozymandias, the smartest man in the world, used “Ramesses II” as his password, for which has a book on a shelf directly next to the computer.

Smartest man? Obviously an idiot at computer security.

Ah, just felt like saying that. Oh, but on a closing note… jeez, they could have given Dr. Manhattan a bigger cock, ey?

What really happened…

I was a little bored and felt creative earlier yesterday, and I thought this was hilarious… sadly no one else does… but it’s hilarious, damn it!